did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
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