I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
