So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
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