EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
Randomize
