Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
Randomize
