i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
Need sex. Gaining weight.
Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
Randomize
