normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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