We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Randomize
