Got a toothbrush?
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
We had to coat check the pizza.
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
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