Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Randomize