Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize
