new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
Randomize
