Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
are you still at the devil's house?
Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize