she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Randomize