My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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