Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
My apartment stinks of burning failure
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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