just come out here and I will go home with you...
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Randomize
