so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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