Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Randomize
