No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
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