how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Randomize
