yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
Randomize