i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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