Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
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