I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Randomize
