i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize
