break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Randomize
