I think I am morally bankrupt
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
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