I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
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