and next time when you feel me up, do it right
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
