Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
Randomize
