yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
