beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
Randomize
