Pappa wants mamma naked
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
You brought string cheese to the strip club
Randomize
