remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
Fuck appropriateness.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Randomize
