i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
