I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
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