So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
Randomize
