Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
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