I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
