haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
Randomize
