where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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