We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
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