dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
Sorry about my life...
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize
