I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
Randomize
