Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
