i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
We are all done wearing pants today
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Randomize
