i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
Randomize
