farters have to be the big spoon...
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
Randomize
