There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
I have so many feelings about this burrito
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
Randomize
