he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Randomize
