somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
Randomize
