i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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