just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
