the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
the room spins SO much faster in panama
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Randomize
