Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize
