Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
Randomize