Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Randomize
