Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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