i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
