Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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